The Viking locks are gone, and Haaland looks years younger
The Erling Haaland new haircut era is officially here. The Viking tresses have officially been cut! Erling Haaland has chopped off the long blond hair that became part of his larger-than-life football look, trading it for a close-cropped buzz just as a new season gets underway. Still handsome, now serving some boyish stud energy. Can’t hate that face.
In his new “New Season, New Hair!! Erling Haaland Vlog”, the Manchester City striker says he had actually been thinking about making the change straight after the World Cup, but life got too busy. With the season starting, Haaland decided it was finally time for a proper reset.
There was only one tiny problem: Zlatan Ibrahimović had previously warned him, “Never cut your hair because your strength is in your hair.” So yes, even a six-foot-four goal machine can get nervous in the barber chair.
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Haaland knew he wanted to go really short — “like I’ve been in military,” as he put it — and spent a few minutes looking through old styles and possible new ones before deciding not to overthink it. There was talk of the “wavy shag,” some old-school Haaland hair nostalgia and even a Viking defense of the buzz: Vikings can go short too.
Then came the first cut, followed almost immediately by regret-face. Haaland admitted he might cry, stared at the disappearing hair and joked that one awkward stage made him look like Kevin from Home Alone. A few passes later, he had already rebranded himself: “Baby assassin. Just call me that from now on.”
Once the cut was finished, Haaland did what any sensible person with a dramatic new hairstyle would do: he started calling people to force them to react in real time.
Noel Gallagher laughed and told him he looked about 17. Jack Grealish went even younger with, “You look about 10 years old,” before admitting he loved it. Haaland’s father, Alf-Inge Haaland, joked that at least his son looked like him again.
Then came Zlatan. After previously warning Haaland that the power was in the hair, Ibrahimović took one look at the new buzz and asked if he’d lost a bet before landing the review of the day: “Block me and erase my number.”
Pep Guardiola, meanwhile, had the most practical response possible: Haaland is lucky to have hair in the first place. By the end of the vlog, the striker had stopped mourning the ponytail and was fully embracing the reset — no regrets, just a much colder breeze around the ears.
And if anyone is worried the Viking energy disappeared with the hair, Haaland had one final answer for that too: “The Vikings always cut it short.” New season. New trim. Same Haaland chaos.
Watch Erling Haaland’s Full “New Season, New Hair” Haircut Vlog
The full vlog follows Haaland from pre-cut nerves through the buzz-cut reveal and reactions from Zlatan Ibrahimović, Noel Gallagher, Jack Grealish, Alf-Inge Haaland and Pep Guardiola.
Source: Erling Haaland / YouTube.
