After 33 Years of Marriage, Ms. Pat Has Plenty to Tell Nicole Byer About Love
Ms. Pat has questions for Nicole’s white boyfriend — and so much more — on a very funny episode of Why Won’t You Date Me? with Nicole Byer.
The conversation starts with marriage and immediately becomes exactly what you’d expect from these two: candid, ridiculous, unexpectedly sweet and occasionally filthy. Ms. Pat reveals that she and her husband have been married for 33 years, and her secret to keeping things working is less candlelight dinner and more knowing when to leave each other alone.
For one thing, they sleep in separate bedrooms. Ms. Pat says the arrangement works for them because a long relationship eventually comes down to respecting each other’s space. Her philosophy is simple: do what works for you, not what everybody else thinks marriage is supposed to look like.
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Ms. Pat on Why Won’t You Date Me?
Nicole Byer and Ms. Pat talk 33 years of marriage, separate bedrooms, finding happiness, comedy, self-love — and the boyfriend Nicole would very much like to propose.
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That leads into Ms. Pat’s second book, Miz American Dream, which she describes as a continuation of Rabbit. This time, she gets into what happened after Hollywood entered the picture — the mistakes, the chase and what her version of the American dream turned out to be.
And no, it isn’t the white picket fence, handbags or jewelry. “My American dream is happiness.” After everything she has lived through, Ms. Pat says she has it now.
Then Nicole makes the mistake — or perhaps the excellent decision — of revealing she’s been with her partner for a little over two years and would like him to propose. Ms. Pat needs exactly one follow-up question: is he Black or white?
Once Nicole confirms he’s white, Ms. Pat turns directly toward the mystery man and begins lobbying on Nicole’s behalf. Her message, cleaned up only slightly for print: what are you waiting on? Before anybody can jump the broom, she points out, somebody has to actually ask.
The episode keeps moving from there. Ms. Pat talks about meeting her husband in 1992, never having a traditional wedding, why the courthouse worked just fine, and why she has very little useful dating advice for singles after being with the same man for more than three decades.
There’s also a frank conversation about menopause, with Ms. Pat describing her own symptoms and treatment experience, while Nicole talks about ADHD medication helping her organize her thoughts rather than dulling her comedy. Both are speaking from their personal experiences — and neither conversation stays serious for very long.
Some of the warmest material arrives when Ms. Pat talks about what she actually enjoys doing with her husband now: waking up, meeting at the kitchen table, making coffee and talking about the day, the kids and life. After 30-plus years together, she says things are not always smooth — but she wouldn’t trade him for the world.
She gets just as direct about stand-up. Her advice to comics is to keep going and don’t do it for fame or money. Love the work, keep finding a stage and keep honing the skill. Nicole, who says she started in 2013, agrees that the audience keeps even familiar material feeling different night after night.
By the end, the jokes give way to something a little deeper. Ms. Pat says one of the biggest lessons of her life was learning how to love herself after spending years taking care of everybody else. Protecting her peace, setting boundaries and refusing to carry relationships by herself changed everything.
So yes, Nicole’s boyfriend gets put on notice. But the episode winds up being about much more than whether a proposal is coming: marriage, happiness, comedy, boundaries, family and figuring out what actually makes your life work.
Ms. Pat Joins Nicole Byer on Why Won’t You Date Me?
Ms. Pat talks marriage, Miz American Dream, menopause, stand-up and self-love before turning her attention to Nicole Byer’s boyfriend and the proposal Nicole says she’s ready for.
Source: Why Won’t You Date Me? with Nicole Byer. Images: Why Won’t You Date Me? / YouTube.
